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Elite Pauper Tasks Pack
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The Elitepauper tasks package is there to alleviate the drizzly Tuesdays in the office gardens and the lousy Wednesdays in the office colossus. A remedy for the eternal meetings, the hopeless KPIs and the completely useless StaVaZas. A bit of relief in the corporate graveyard of the working dead. For all task soldiers, excel pushers and office slaves. Here is your hope in anxious days.
This package contains a neatly printed poster of 50 x 70 cm, a tile of 15 by 15 cm and ten stickers of 10 by 10 cm.
'For the tasks, the SLAs, the KPIs, the management summaries, agile soldiers and the scrum masters. This one is for you, stroll around that open-plan office like never before. For the lean and the mean. For the key and the scope. The commitment and follow-up. The bila, the trila and the stavaza. The customer journey, the sparring and the performance arc. Under promise & over deliver. For the targets the milestones. The CRM and the database. Don't forget, trash in is trash out. For the business units and best practices. For sparring and the sounding board. For the support, management, stakeholders, and human capital. For the profit and the loss. With you tapping out and repacking. Continue to put the customer first. For rolling out, inserting and scaling down. With your multidisciplinary growth teams. If you lift it over the weekend, throw it over the fence another time. With your strategic collaboration and your community building.'
From now on, orders placed before 3:00 PM on workdays will be shipped the same day.
Vanaf nu gaan we voor de gratis verzending bij orders vanaf €100,00! Dit is niet alleen zo voor de Nederlanders, maar ook voor de Belgische squad. Dus geen gezeur meer, gewoon lekker shoppen!
We are as we are. Our items are straight forward and straightforward. You can't get more Dutch than that. What you see is what you get, even if that is English. Just act normal, then you're acting crazy enough. We are made in Holland and designed in Veldhoven. The model in the photo is 1.83 cm tall, 85 kg and wears size M.
Our credo used to be: 'If ordered today, it will certainly not be delivered tomorrow.' But from now on, your shipment ordered before 3:00 PM will be shipped the same day. So if they make a little effort in the post, you will receive it the next day. How awesome is that?
Shipping costs within the Netherlands are€5.50, shipping toBelgium is €6.25, Germany is €7.25 and France is€11.95.
Exchanges can be made within 14 days, please use this form. You will receive a response to your email from us within 24 hours. Return costs are your responsibility. Unless we have made a fuckup, then we will of course pay the shipping for you. Make sure that everything is returned neat, not broken, unwashed and including everything. You will then receive your money back or another item within 30 days (probably sooner).
Elitepauper was created at the intersection of our love for traditional Dutch everyday things. The love for Hazes and half litres. The love for pounding gabbers, beats and bacon in the canteen. It arose from our love for everything that is seen as abnormal by the neighbors. Elitepauper is a novel, but also a t-shirt. It's tattoos and podcasts. It is a movement and a nickname. But above all, Elitepauper is a feeling.